Three months ago I had an accident that has largely shifted the course of my life. And honestly it’s been a blessing. Surgery sucks, being injured and being unable to work or teach and practice yoga sucks, not being able to surf sucks. But these are not the things that define our lives. Happiness in not attached to external circumstances. It comes from within. So although I have, and will continue to miss the ocean with every fiber of my being, I have been able to find bliss in my life, because life it’s self is the bliss. Not every day is like this, but today I was reminded of a few sweet things.
Tomorrow will be 3 months of no surf, with a projected 6 more to go… I’m awaiting knee surgery that will “set back” the progress I have made, (so once again, no driving, no mobility in my knee, crutches for a month.. but hey, at least i’ll have ligaments back in my knee and FINALLY on the road to being recovered). And yes, of course, it could always, always be far worse!!
In the mean time I have chosen to make the best of it. My wrist has healed enough and my surgeon has said I am free to paddle. Its certainly not surfing the waves, but oh dang, the water and all it’s healing powers. SO SO GOOOD. So, today I took my longboard to the lagoon and set off for the horizon. The salty water instantly satiated my dry mermaid gills. My heart is so full of stoke for all that I do have, that when I get to return to the activities that make my soul truly sing it will be icing on the cake. As I floated around the lagoon, I came to the realization of how following my heart and my passions in life and finding my way via what sets my soul on fire is one of the things that makes this whole journey (of being injured, of being put on pause, of being “detoured” so to speak) okay. I know how surfing makes me feel, and whatever it takes to get back to that I will do, with humility and surrender. I know not all of you surf, and maybe you haven’t found your passion. But I’m here to encourage to keep searching. Try to new things, enjoy the fruits of being healthy and well. Because when things shift away from that, you will still have that feeling, and that feeling, of knowing that A- my life has been fulfilled just by the search of that, and I am happy regardless. But B – one day again I will get to return to the joys of surfing waves.
THEN, to top it all off, when I got out of the water and was drying off, feeling all floaty and high like only the oceans waters can make me feel. I got a a call from my guy! Yes, Ive got a guy. Holy heart shaped eye emoji, over and over and over again. My friends, I am smitten. Love is one of those things. You can’t plan it, and the more you seek it out or “wait” for it the more elusive it becomes, but here I was just living my life, learning about me, and in walks this handsome, funny, insanely talented, humble surfer guy, with the sweetest brown eyes, and a gentle strength that makes me melt like a popsicle in the tropics. (we did actually meet a year ago, buuuut- we never really had a chance to spend time together until last month in Utah) SO, had this injury not happened, I wouldn’t be sitting here today, or in Utah last month, and currently gushing over him and how magical it is to connect with a love of the cosmos. With that being said, my post lagoon stoke was only amplified a gazillion fold by getting a call from him. =)
After last weeks doctors appointment I was feeling a bit discouraged by my news from the surgeon that yes, my ACL, MCL and meniscus all need fixing, and that a second surgery was also possibly on the books, but after spending a few days down, I digested the info and returned to my positive, motivated, inspired self. Its easy to get stuck in a “pity party” mood, but life is too short to let what happens to us dictate our happiness. Crappy news can get us down, because we’re human, but then its up to us, to rise above it. We have so much to be grateful for, and we are so powerful because how we CHOOSE TO EXPERIENCE life is completely up to us. And that power, and that knowing and recognizing this inherent wisdom born into all of us, is everything. When you think about it, everything is temporary. And whatever we are going through at any given time can’t be THAT bad, if death is as bad as it gets, we are all headed there anyways, so lets celebrate what we’ve got while we’ve got it. We could all always find something to complain about. But why? Choose the opposite, focus on the positive, and watch your life transform around you, and not because anything has changed, because you have changed. ( and then believe it or not, things do actually start to change, because you have changed and the law of attraction is real, and all the goodness you are putting out there is coming back to you. I didn’t make it up. You reap what you sow? I know you’ve heard it before, I’m just here to remind you=))
Today was a beautiful reminder of what a gift the simple luxuries of life are. Of how present opportunities are to experience happy feelings, and how very blessed we are to get to be living in these bodies, no matter how broken at times we may be, we have more positive than negative all around us flowing in and out with every little breath:)
This past Sunday I attended a friends Memorial Service, he was a nurse and one of the most wonderful things about this friend was his ability to share compassion. One of his cousins was sharing a story about him and how he was saying that from his time working in the ICU and listening to patients stories he learned the importance of love, and how when people are in their most vulnerable moments, the one thing they reflect on the most is the quality of love they had in their life. Living and breathing, loving and being present, learning how to be better – experiencing the moments as they come, is what life is about. So thank you today, and my dear friend Jeremy. May you rest in peace, I know your ashes are out there in the ocean, and as I write this now, perhaps that was what made my day on the water even more special than it usually is.
Love your tribe hard, and tell them as much as you can. Our time here is truly precious.
Namaste my sweet friends. Life is always looking up!