Fear and Freedom in the land of Pura Vida

Time spent traveling invites us to be a different version of ourselves.  It gives us an opportunity to do new things, rad things, to experience life outside our bubble, to live beyond our comfort zone, to meet new people and learn about our strength of character.

On Monday I left the town of Liberia and set off to the jungles. I cruised along familiar roads for an hour or so, and then I felt tingles of excitement as I took a left into unfamiliar territory. The excitement left as quickly as it arrived when I realized I was about to leave the land of paved paradise and enter into savage landscapes. The blissful free feelings turned to oh shit feelings in a fast heart beat. And of course, I had to pee. No bathrooms on the horizon or any sign of humanity – aside form the casual construction worker or massive tractor along the way I was mostly alone.

Maybe the best part of this whole incredible 1 hr of life was the great little spot I found to pull over and relieve myself,  I hopped out of the car, enter here the vision of naked muddy feet, and an Austin Powers epic pee. It was so peaceful outside of the car, with the pause from  the rubbing and jumbling, squishy, mucking noise of  mountainous terrain battling with the car below me. Then, back to it. A bit more thrilled about the drive at least knowing I’d solved one small problem.

So I’ve driven through many potholes and rainy jungle roads before, but this day wins in the competition of driving adventures. It was rainy and wet, and for about an hour I was on a muddy, slippery, rocky construction site of a road defined by steep inclines, declines, and blind turns… By myself, with out cell service, not in a truck or vehicle that gave me confidence or the support I wanted in this kind of terrain. The sides of road often lacked railings and muddy tires slide going down hills, and rocks below the tires often slip on the way up… 

Anyway.

I think you get the point. 

It was and incredibly beautiful jungly drive aside from that, just terrifying.

When I finally returned to the safely of normal roads, I definitely let out a big breath of sigh. As I navigated these roads I found a sense of confidence and assurance that I am brave and capable. None the less, as I drove away from this stretch of road I was definitely relieved to see paved roads and resemblances of little towns. Ironic part is remember saying to myself, with a mental check “that was cool, don’t ever need to do that again” and as I’ve tried to brain storm a different way to leave Santa Teresa, I have found no better option but that hellish road. It is actually the best way to get out of town. Joke is on me. As the rain pours down right now, my heart smiles, and cries at the same time, how wonderful the rain, but how extra fucked the roads will be tomorrow. ha ha ha…

It’s funny though, I’m not looking forward to it – But when we do things that make us feel scared and get through them, we learn, of our own resilience. We get stronger sense of self every time we persevere. 

Experience like these help me understand the importance of trying new things and keeping an open mind towards moments that may feel awful. These moments are here to teach us something. How do we ever know what we can do if you don’t ever chart away from our routines and do something that makes us scared ? 

I arrived in safety in Santa Teresa just in time for birthday lunch with the sweet brilliant queen of http://www.tarantulasurf.com. Tara. We became friends when I slid into her DM’s on IG. Lol sound familar. Yep, that’s how I met you too right ;). When I was living in Costa Rica I’d always see her posts, full of gorgeous images and pared with heartfelt captions to match. Words, stories and poems of women, nature and empowerment. I knew we needed to be friends, so I reached out, we made attempts to connect in person for a while but a tender sisterhood began to grow. We met in Nicaragua two years ago, the friendship has continued to bloom in such beautiful ways since then.  

 

Friendships like Tara’s and adventures like this validate my belief of the reward that comes when we go beyond our comfort zone.  When we make ourselves vulnerable, sometimes there is rejection of loss, but from these places we are able to transform, we create our own recipe for infinite possibility. The adventure it’s self it the reward, and everything else gained along the way it just the bonus.

The last three days here unfolded into complete magic. Surfing. Check (biggest waves I’ve paddled out in since the injuries – little victory dance for self here- they were breaking pretty far out and overhead) yes I was scared, yes I stepped on a bee and got stung on the way into the water and yes, once I was able to silence the self doubt and enjoy the majesty of the jungle lined tropical ocean I was floating in,  I scored some killer waves. The lightening storms, beachside-palm tree-waterfall lined jungle roads, home made dinners, conversations about love and light and consciousness have been full on. I’ve laughed non stop. I’ve made flows to beats (watch out- little miss lyricist here- haha- white girl can jam) perched on the hillside, on the porch of a perfectly place jungle cabin, with an epic million dollar view of the pristine jungles and uninterrupted sprawling beaches. Talking story has spanned the spectrum of heavy and deep and playful, but the mood has remand light. Life, just as it is, is really sweet. Real connection away from cell phones with people who are on a similar path to mine is something I’ve been missing. I feel validated, like my dreams, aren’t so wild or far out there, but, that naturally this is what people like us do. We choose the mud, and the nature, and the lack of amenities because we feel so much joy without it. Life full of modern luxuries often feels overwhelming and full of distractions away from the peace of simplicity.

My life in the states is so blessed, and so abundant, but sometimes I feel like I have to do as much as everybody else to keep, up or else I’ll get left behind. And I find the pace of life absolutely exhausting. Are we living if we are working all the time? For me, the answer is a hard no. I don’t desire to have things, I crave experience my wants and needs walk a different road.

So, to be here, around people who live, and breathe, and move at the same gentle pace as myself; People who want to spend the days engaging in life, enjoying good company, savoring books, and adventures, and the bliss of the warm sea, well,  feels like home.

We all work, but we don’t live to work. Our emphasis is different. And I think that’s the whole point. When we finds what sets our soul on fire. What bring us peace. We should stop at nothing to live that life. It looks different for everyone. I can’t emphasize enough, the idea of “many paths, one truth”. We all end up in the same place, but how we get there may look different, and that’s the wonderful part, the journey of finding your own magic way.

To me it feels and looks like this. I am so inspired by being here, my heart beats more fully in this environment. I’m so happy to be in communion with the people and places that make me feel so whole and complete.

My point of writing it to inspire you to follow your heart. To find your voice, your song, that you create, and could play on repeat from here until forever and never get sick of. My wish for you is to fall in love with life. My wish for you is to seek. Seek your deepest desires, travel, embrace newness, find adventure, live your truth, and if you don’t know what that looks like, don’t stop searching. Dedicate yourself to you, and everything you find along the way, no matter how scary or challenging the way, will deliver you the greatest rewards. I can’t promise it will be easy, or always good, but it will be worth it. A million times over again, it will be worth everything you compromise to live your hearts desires, life is out there waiting for you to embrace it.

Tomorrow I head back on the road, and to another place that feels like home, and actually was for a while. Nosara. A place where I encountered countless waves, enduring friendship, and the biggest broken heart and deepest debt I’ve know to this day. I love this place, and if I could go back and do it all over again, I’d do it the exact same.

So tomorrow awaits – through those damn hills of mud and rock and slippery sludge. Also hills, of magical jungle trees, fresh air, and the excitement I seek. And I’m scared. But the hour will pass, white knuckles and all and I will be fine. I suppose if I asked life for adventure it is giving it to me. (ON a side note, know this, be clear in your intentions and what you ask for, haha. Cause you will get it. We are powerful manifestors in that way. Suppose on this path to enlightenment I too have a lot to learn.) 

And in an attempt on playing with perspective, if this “horrific” hour of my day tomorrow, driving through the beautiful jungles of Costa Rica  is as bad as it gets, this week, or even this month, then my life is pretty damn good…

Off to enjoy the songs of rain. Sleep sweet my loves, I’ll talk to you soon

Xo

Katie