Honor Yourself

Honor Yourself

Life moves in continuous motions. There will be times of inner conflict and times of inner peace. So honor yourself, dear one, as you flow in and out of these phases. When you find yourself in moments of question. Moments where the wrong thing feels so right (or the right things feels so wrong) and life has you questioning your own morality. 

Know that you are okay.

Stand strong in yourself and honor the divine being that live inside your skin. You are so human, so divinely perfect, so divinely flawed. You are learning and growing in all the ways you need to in all due time. 

I understand that it may not always be easy to stay on course of choosing correct actions. And as I recently stood in solitude, surround by deserted beaches and stoic cliff sides, under the sticky air, on the jagged jutting rocks, below the stormy gray salty skies; I stood in stillness, watching the waves crash with reckless abandon into the black sandy shores. And there I knew. I knew the ocean was telling me struggle is okay, and I am not alone. And neither my friends, are you. On the days where the salt is as decadent as the sweet. And questions and answers do not feel aligned. 

Honor yourself in this space.

It is this space that is gently molding you into the being that you are meant to be. A beautiful complex being that is transforming and growing right as I speak. On these days or times when emotions can run unsettled like stormy seas…

Close your eyes and gently inhale into the mystery.

And with your eyes closed release the uncertainty as you empty yourself of breath. 

Let the tension ease out of your body and be absorbed by the earth below. There are things that are beyond our control. You are here and happening, and living and breathing with the orbits of the planets and the pull of the moons. If you want to slowly settle in the comfort of your infinite endless eternity, then I give you permission. I give you permission to honor your deep conflicts as well as your flickers of peace and know that in these fluctuations, that you sweet soul, are perfectly whole, and perfectly complete. IMG_2036

Cultivating positivity- even when life gets all kinds of crazy. Staying humble and grateful amidst the madness.

Hello loves!

What a wild life it is. More delightful and beautiful everyday.  I’m not really sure where to start, so maybe that is exactly where I should begin. Over the last few months, since I was in Nicaragua frothing over life in the tropics, everything has changed.

But let’s backtrack a bit.

First and foremost, Nicaragua is in the midst of the worst political violence (and devastating oppression) it has seen in the last 20 years. I could go on for a while about the heartbreak and injustice happening to these beautiful people in this wonderful country. The reality is that when I bought my property, I could not have known that within two weeks of my signing date, the country would experience an uprising and peaceful protests that have resulted in over 300 innocent civilians dead in the streets and caused an exodus of expats and travelers alike. As the people push for a democratic solution, the economy has tanked and the tourism industry, in which I had hoped to thrive through my boutique surf bungalows, has crashed. My heart goes out to my friends and the Nicaraguans fighting this fight. I am fortunate to have other options and places to shift my focus and energy, as I hope and pray for a quick and peaceful solution for our neighbors down south.

After the realization that my Nicaraguan dream was on hold for a while, my mind shifted back to a free, gypsy lifestyle. I’d accepted, and quite frankly, was feeling stoked about traveling to new parts of the world, (South East Asia, Australia, Maldives, here I come) scoring waves, teaching yoga, and working in boutique hotels across the globe. In the meantime, I was trying to keep up with the American machine, working all the time, squeezing in surf when I could, and trying to grind out the summer months as I planned my next move.

My birthday was in June and if you asked me how I thought I’d spend the summer of my thirty second year of life, I probably would have shrugged and let a little grin dance across my face – let my eyes illuminate a little extra twinkle, as I fantasized about the limitless opportunities of where I might find myself on this gypsy trail, traipsing about this beautiful, magical planet.

Fast forward to now. (how about the “knee-kini” and the one piece?! lol

(and now meaning this time period form Accident unit today…Things have finally  started to heal a bit and I’m feeling like I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I visit my knee surgeon Tuesday- Ive been charging the PT hard just trying to regain mobility prior to surgery, fingers crossed we’ll set a date for incisions and things this week. As for the wrist, its on the mend. Casts are off, and Ive been graduated to being allow to carry what they ca;; “coffee cup weight” haha. Big things are happening! As for the smiles and this lovely salty hair!… I got I the ocean yesterday- first time in two months and if you know me- that’s like, LIFETIMES… (by getting in, I mean I sat in the shoreline with my arm above my head and let the waves wash over meeee. but oh the sweet giggles and  bliss of magic mama ocean. I feel like I know who I am again. Its certainly not surfing. But it will do =)

So I know for a fact, when musing about how I’d spend this summer, I wouldn’t have predicted surf-less days, left handed teeth brushing, complete immobility in my knee, lizard skin hands, torn ligaments, 7 screws in my wrist, family Costco adventures (I, for one, am not a Costco fan), puzzle night as my Sunday Funday, and for icing on the cake, sitting in the bathtub singing Al Green and Sade laughing so hard I can’t stop crying, as my mom washes my naked body. Yep, humble pie, served up whole. I told my mom it was bathtub music. Haha. A sense of humor is certainly a sweet medicine. And something I’d recommend you never leave home without. It’s been comedy hour around here… But check out these.. eeeep

 

In my dream-world/part-time reality, I spend my days surfing, teaching yoga, working in restaurants, traveling, playing my ukulele, painting, blowing bubbles, hula hooping, dancing, staring up at the clouds, writing blogs, and poems and short stories for my upcoming book (that will be published soon!), creating future surf/yoga retreats and last but not least, planning my big move to Nicaragua where I’ll be building those boutique surf bungalows. Whew… and when I say I’ll do all these things it mostly just boils down, once again, flirting with complete burnout and too much work. When I’m spending my days in Central America, time, freedom and play consume my soul. However, here in the States (even as a yoga instructor and restaurant server- fun right?), I often find myself overworked and uninspired. I would imagine that many of you can relate? 

As of recently ALL OF THIS (play and work) has been sidelined. For the short term, life has a different plan for me. LESSON ONE COMING IN HOT: we have no control- so let go. Release your grip on life. Whatever I thought I was going to do took a bit fat detour.  Plans are great, but sometimes they change and it’s far better to let the currents take you where they want rather than fight them all the way to shore. Cool?! =) I have learned, and am forever learning, that we don’t have control over what happens to us. We only have control over ourselves and how we choose to respond. And with this new found free time I’ve been enjoying, said activities (from Central America days…)

So I had a gnarly “skateboarding” (and when I say skateboarding, I mean I was trying to ride a one wheeled motorized skateboard thing) accident at the end of June, resulting in a severely displaced, broken arm requiring surgery, screws, plates, learning to move my wrist again and lots of recovery time. In addition to injuring my arm/wrist, in the same accident I completely blew out my knee, tearing both my ACL and MCL (on which I am still currently awaiting surgery, fingers crossed it will be soon.) I’m out of the water for up to 9 months, when it’s all said and done. No surfing, no yoga teaching, no working, no dancing, no driving, not too much individual freedom at all.  Though at least I can use the toilet by myself- hey- it can always be worse right? And, as I sit here and type this, I realize despite all that, one thing I have continued to do non-stop, is smile. If you know me, you know this to be true.

I suppose all those little whispers life was giving me to slow down should have been heeded. But being a believer that everything is unfolding exactly as it should (assuming you show up and do the work- which I do), should have, would have, and could have, are not parts of my vocabulary. Had said accident not happened, I would not be sitting here today, writing this to you. =)

Nobody wants to be injured, but injuries aside, life has given me a gift. Yes, I said gift, and again, I default to focusing on the positive, returning my awareness to all that is -good- in my life. And occasionally breaking down into tears, but if you want the rainbow, well…you need the rain!

Injuries are a beautiful time for growth, self-reflection and discovery. Right? (And what I really mean is more time for selfies and wine?!?! haha…) Jokes aside though, because now I do have more time to spend in good conversation, painting, making music, creating all kinds of projects, and enjoying friends and family. Everyday I am more aware of this opportunity to enjoy a different path that life is taking me on. A path, that I would have not chosen for myself, but here I am, embracing all the madness with a happy heart and an open mind. Humbled and awed by the magical mystery of this human experience. The blessings and lessons that continue to reveal themselves are abundant.

Obviously injuries do suck, but how you choose to experience life, the injuries, the heartbreaks, the ups and downs, is completely up to you.

LESSON NUMBER TWO

(Maybe a bit more subtle with this one, but your mind is a powerful tool, so use it. =) )

With that being said, and I say this a lot, we -always- have a choice. And you can choose to be grumpy, or the opposite. My mom used to always say “choose your attitude” and as a sassy, stubborn, know-it-all adolescent, this drove me nuts, but she’s absolutely right. If a situation isn’t ideal to begin with, why choose to make it worse with a shitty attitude. Instead, I encourage you to find the blessing. And it’s wild, and at first I thought, weird, but it’s not weird, it makes perfect sense. Where you focus your energy is where your life flows. So in looking at this accident as opportunity, in graciously and humbly receiving, surrendering to, and trusting what life is giving me – my mind has been blown by what has come in my direction. (Once again, coming back around to the power of positive thinking.)

In case you missed it, I’d like to say, I would not have chosen this for myself. But the lesson, one of many here, is that life is what you make it. And less than awesome things happen everyday, so it’s up to you how you choose to experience these situations. In yoga well call this Pratipaksha Bhavanam. Cultivate the opposite (If something is bad, your mind and attitude CAN make it better.)

But if that’s too far out there for you…winky face, kissy emoji…I get it.

I just wish you all were close enough to come to some of my yoga classes (and not the extreme pretzel, literally make-you-sweat-your-face-off classes, but the body, mind and spirit, slow-it-all-down, enlightening breathwork classes) so I could shower you with the  ancient wisdoms I have learned, that make my heart feel happy, my soul feel peaceful, and my face smile. But for now, one-handed and chicken-pecked stories on my computer will have to do. =)

I’m aware this might sound like being positive is easy for me, but it’s work, it’s a daily practice, one that I absolutely love and is as necessary as breathing. I’ve come to learn that the practice is the reward. If I can advise you in any way, add some tools to your tool box, help you cultivate a better attitude, might I recommend meditation, some restorative yoga, a slow walk in nature, a self-help book, listening to music, painting, ecstatic dancing, cooking yummy meals, trying a new hobby, whatever it takes. But you deserve a life that makes you feel drunk on the delight of both the challenges and the rewards. A life full of joy.

So, if I can sum it all up with a little lesson number three, it would be to emphasize an awareness around the importance of slowing down. Live a mindful, conscious life. Society moves fast and our time here is precious. Enjoy where you are at. Embrace the moments as they come. Make happiness a priority- and whatever road that is to you- take it. Listen to your heart; the longings never stop. Greet yourself and others with compassion and love. Everyone has a story. Focus on the positive; it is forever present. We are beautiful beings on a cosmic journey, all doing the best we can to make sense of this incredible human experience.

Namaste. Aloha. Pura Vida. Blessings.

Your Mermaid,

Katie

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On a side note, my friends, these beauties above (you can find them at) http://www.thiscolorfulworld.com have brought me on board to help them out with all kinds of fun communication specialty tasks and I’m just beyond stoked to be a part of their powerful, uplifting, conscious lifestyle community. They run a video production company, and have an have a beautifully amazing youtube channel as well! So wether you have video production and photography needs, or just enjoy learning about life hacks for topics ranging from relationship maintenance – self care- mental health –  and so many more… check them out! xoxoxoxo

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7oNjpoRhx2OY0VTGGHEsFQ

 

Yoga-Life-Water-Love

Yoga- Life- Water- Love

My heart is bursting with gratitude. Like the way lava lurches from within a volcano and devours everything in its path. Completely consuming and changing life as it moves towards the sea – love flows from me in this very same way. It is subtle, but it is a mighty an undeniable force to any who witnesses it’s movement. The seeds you cultivate and water in your life become the jungle that grows around you. Its simple in theory but life brings all kinds of challenges, and my yoga practice has taught me that that practice is indeed the reward, and we are undoubtedly mirrors of those around us. 

No matter the day I am having- time with self, in yoga practice, in meditation, silently dancing with the great expanse of everything, always resets my heart and mind. Yesterday, after a morning of great coffee talk, and inspiring creative brainstorming, I headed off to serve tables (and share smiles) at the restaurant. Days of waiting on people hand and foot can be rewarding but also an “energy suck” and after such a super charged AM of “big dream” stuff, that became a day of “work” I was feeling depleted, a bit unrewarded and in need of tapping back into  the sweet vast source self. The 5:30 pm class at YO (Yoga Oceanside) with amazing teacher the amazing teacher, and friend, Rick Worthington always ends in happy fuzzy yoga bliss. Come join us if you are in town! http://www.Yogaoceanside.com =)

So.

I am a woman with dreams and ambition. My wild heart calls me to rouge parts of the world, and although it may not be the most “safe or secure” path of life, I can not turn off the call of the winds that lure me to Nicaraguan Tropical Paradise. Its a simple life I crave, but in creating this vision, first I get to put in a lot of work. I am building Surf House Nicaragua http://www.surfhousenicaragua.com (check it out, just a basic page now, but so much more to come)  through this Boutique Surf style Accommodation I am creating   a community to spread the seeds of love (from my tribe here in oceanside) to people and travelers across the globe. 

For now, and a temporary now, I’m living in my hometown Oceanside, CA. I work at the   a super fun spot called Local Tap House (which I do love) but it’s not my passion or how I want to live my life long term. I am also blessed enough to teach yoga and give reiki in the amazing Yoga Oceanside yoga studio. 

 

For the last few days my friend Caroline has been in town visiting me.  She is a boss babe, full of fire, passion, ideas and an work ethic second to none. Her thought process I so different than mine and she only challenges me to think about things from a different avenue than my natural thought process; not to change my way of thinking, but to simply expand my mind to consider other possibilities.

In our relationship, being the yoga teacher and energy healer, I am the “yogini” but her ability to understand this power of mind makes her a yogini in so many ways she doesn’t even know. One of my favorite yoga quotes that I teach often in class  is this “As the mind so the man – if you believe you are bound you are bound, if you believe you are free you are free” Its a quote from Patajanli’s Yoga Sutras a book loaded with all kind of amazing esoteric wisdoms. Its a great read even if you don’t have a physical asana practice i’d recommend gibing it a read.

 My point to this story is I have gotten comfortable, “bound” perhaps, to limiting thought and beliefs about how and when I can make my dreams happen- and as I write and reflect I’m becoming aware that maybe thats  the reason I’ve been feeling stuck. I’ve adopted a routine for the first time in my  life, and it’s a beautiful routine, but Im  now feeling it’s time to shake it up.  In life we go back and forth from protection mode to growth mode. From times of getting grounded and rooted, (feeling safe and secure) to times of radical growth and change. When I returned home from living in Costa Rica, a year ago today, I was in big need of this nurturing, I had massive emotional healing to do and was in need of finding stability and happiness within in myself. So this “groove” here been 100% necessary and everything I’ve needed for the past 12 months but its not the place I can stay if I want to live the biggest, and most vibrant version of my life. It’s perfect for right now, but that’s no excuse to get complacent. If you have dreams, that have found their way in to the back ground maybe it’s time to shift all your energy into these dreams, manifest them and create and work them into fruition. Or maybe for you its time to slow it down a bit and continue to water them and wait for them to grow- either way having awareness around this cycle and process makes you a powerful being. 

This awareness leads me to a  big lesson that continues to present its self to me in big and small ways. Im a believer that is that life is about learning to wait. This “wait” I’m refering to is not sitting back and doing nothing. It’s embracing the pause or grounding phase of life that has to happen in order for things to grow.  When we slow down long enough and listen to the space between what we thing we know, that is where the answers are revealed. Jimi Hendrix said “knowledge speaks but wisdom listens.”  To me this quote implies that to arrive at wisdom we need to slow down, turn off our own ideas and truly hear whats being said by those around us, and to our self within.

Turing my attention to my root chakra has been not so glamorous, but where I lacked in “glamor” it has made up for in power, and connection to source. Growing deeps roots creates the foundation for a sustainable and fulfilling life. As I started writing this last night I  realized that today is my year anniversary from moving home from Costa Rica. (a place where I was lusciously, flippantly and superfluously living in my heart space, which is a good place to be as long as proper roots have been grown, which they hadn’t which is maybe why the tree fell (me) the way it did- but it was what was needed to happen for the seeds to spread and grow as they have… Ah, the joys of trusting and surrendering, embracing what comes our way as opposed to what we think we know or want. Ive said it many time but heart break is a fucker. But I am only greatful for the deeply satisfying lessons I have learned  as a result. As I reflect on how much my heart  has softened, but also my soul empowered, and the growth that I have traversed in the last year, it’s incredible. We as human beings are capable of great feats, physical, emotional, mental, spiritual. Everything I wanted to happen continues to. Maybe not the exact way I’ve imagined, and not to say Ive gotten everything I “wanted”. But life unfolds everything we need. When you are able to get specific about what you want and let go of how it comes about, it always, always always comes. This is where he power of a yoga practice becomes the best tool. I can only speak from my own experience but my yoga practice is the reward. Despite the ups and downs this last year has contained my Yoga practice has given me tools  to know that everything is not just okay, but perfect, even when its not. Life isn’t happening to me its happening for me. And although the jungles and in a bikini is where I want to be, and where I will be, through a devoted practice I have arrived in a place of the sweetest contentment within myself regardless of life’s external circumstances. Not to mention, a life here in San Diego cocooned by so much sweet sweet love is blissful. To keep it all in perspective if surfing in a wet suit is the worst part of my its really not so bad hey?

Life is cyclical indeed. So this positive, unattached, loving, humble, vulnerable, open free life style and mindset  does not deny or negate that bad things can and do happen, it’s just a shield, or tool, to constantly remind me to stay in the present, to let go, to trust and surrender to forces beyond my control. It is a knowing that  sun sets, and it gets dark, but then the sun rises and it is light again (not to mention the magic of the moon while the sun is away). This way of living to protects me from unnecessary struggle that could lead to drowning in the same currents that float and pull me safety. We can let go or be dragged. We can work hard for what we want, as I have, but in this hard work and of following my dreams am in constant flux, remembering to stay fluid, and let things happen as they should- finding a perfect balance between working your ass off, and going with the flow. (Of being in that place right where the tide changes, it goes from a dead low beings to push in, the winds switch offshore, and what looked like shitting conditions, transform into an epic session of pumping waves.) Sorry… haha, couldn’t got a whole explanation of life and love without some kind of ocean reference, default I suppose of being a mermaid =) Anywho, Letting go of what we think we know, and accepting what is, this is  Aparigraha. Aparigraha is a yoga philosophy that teaches abundance and recognizing the blessings off all things the come our way. Embracing its wisdom has saved me many many headaches, and soothed many heartaches in reassuring me that despite external circumstances that everything is going to be fine, and in clinging to an outcome I desire and not accepting what is only causes more suffering.

As Im nearing the completion of my 31st trip around the sun I feel so grateful, so empowered and so excited to share with you the secret powers of a yoga practice that I have been fortunate enough to receive. None of these wisdoms are my own.  Im am however a believer in myself. My wild passion and free spirit are viscously infectious, and as I get to know myself more everyday I I feel more honored to share my stories and my sparkle with you. 

I’ve got a few poetry books I hope to be publishing soon full of inspiration and yogic wisdoms and short prose about nature, travel, and love. Some beach cleans ups in the works and if you follow me and my merbabes at the _mermaidmafia_  on intsagram and FB we are always filling your days with positive ideas about how to live a more mindful eco conscious life.  Also always promoting, check out Avasol. They are skin safe, reef safe sun protection product and Avasol is a company I endorse who heartily.

As for my big dream, my big vision – Surf House Nicaragua is reaching its dawn. Its a bit scary, but I’m stoked for the adventure into business ownership and the opportunity to create something that has a positive lasting impact. Any one who has ever watched the sunrise knows what a moment of great magic this is. 

In addition to building an epic space to host travelers and share my love of yoga and surf, In the next year I will also be hosting a Yoga and Surf and Volunteer adventure to a tropical Latin paradise not far from here… Hope you can join me =) =)

I am a woman on fire, inspired, in love with my self, with life and engaged in this magic mystery as it unfolding all around. I can only thank the people closest to me who continually uplift me, guide me, love the heck out of me, remind the importance of following your dreams and teach me to live a full vibrant life.

So many blessings and so much love-

The mermaid.