Yoga- Life- Water- Love
My heart is bursting with gratitude. Like the way lava lurches from within a volcano and devours everything in its path. Completely consuming and changing life as it moves towards the sea – love flows from me in this very same way. It is subtle, but it is a mighty an undeniable force to any who witnesses it’s movement. The seeds you cultivate and water in your life become the jungle that grows around you. Its simple in theory but life brings all kinds of challenges, and my yoga practice has taught me that that practice is indeed the reward, and we are undoubtedly mirrors of those around us.
No matter the day I am having- time with self, in yoga practice, in meditation, silently dancing with the great expanse of everything, always resets my heart and mind. Yesterday, after a morning of great coffee talk, and inspiring creative brainstorming, I headed off to serve tables (and share smiles) at the restaurant. Days of waiting on people hand and foot can be rewarding but also an “energy suck” and after such a super charged AM of “big dream” stuff, that became a day of “work” I was feeling depleted, a bit unrewarded and in need of tapping back into the sweet vast source self. The 5:30 pm class at YO (Yoga Oceanside) with amazing teacher the amazing teacher, and friend, Rick Worthington always ends in happy fuzzy yoga bliss. Come join us if you are in town! http://www.Yogaoceanside.com =)
I am a woman with dreams and ambition. My wild heart calls me to rouge parts of the world, and although it may not be the most “safe or secure” path of life, I can not turn off the call of the winds that lure me to Nicaraguan Tropical Paradise. Its a simple life I crave, but in creating this vision, first I get to put in a lot of work. I am building Surf House Nicaragua http://www.surfhousenicaragua.com (check it out, just a basic page now, but so much more to come) through this Boutique Surf style Accommodation I am creating a community to spread the seeds of love (from my tribe here in oceanside) to people and travelers across the globe.
For now, and a temporary now, I’m living in my hometown Oceanside, CA. I work at the a super fun spot called Local Tap House (which I do love) but it’s not my passion or how I want to live my life long term. I am also blessed enough to teach yoga and give reiki in the amazing Yoga Oceanside yoga studio.
For the last few days my friend Caroline has been in town visiting me. She is a boss babe, full of fire, passion, ideas and an work ethic second to none. Her thought process I so different than mine and she only challenges me to think about things from a different avenue than my natural thought process; not to change my way of thinking, but to simply expand my mind to consider other possibilities.
In our relationship, being the yoga teacher and energy healer, I am the “yogini” but her ability to understand this power of mind makes her a yogini in so many ways she doesn’t even know. One of my favorite yoga quotes that I teach often in class is this “As the mind so the man – if you believe you are bound you are bound, if you believe you are free you are free” Its a quote from Patajanli’s Yoga Sutras a book loaded with all kind of amazing esoteric wisdoms. Its a great read even if you don’t have a physical asana practice i’d recommend gibing it a read.
My point to this story is I have gotten comfortable, “bound” perhaps, to limiting thought and beliefs about how and when I can make my dreams happen- and as I write and reflect I’m becoming aware that maybe thats the reason I’ve been feeling stuck. I’ve adopted a routine for the first time in my life, and it’s a beautiful routine, but Im now feeling it’s time to shake it up. In life we go back and forth from protection mode to growth mode. From times of getting grounded and rooted, (feeling safe and secure) to times of radical growth and change. When I returned home from living in Costa Rica, a year ago today, I was in big need of this nurturing, I had massive emotional healing to do and was in need of finding stability and happiness within in myself. So this “groove” here been 100% necessary and everything I’ve needed for the past 12 months but its not the place I can stay if I want to live the biggest, and most vibrant version of my life. It’s perfect for right now, but that’s no excuse to get complacent. If you have dreams, that have found their way in to the back ground maybe it’s time to shift all your energy into these dreams, manifest them and create and work them into fruition. Or maybe for you its time to slow it down a bit and continue to water them and wait for them to grow- either way having awareness around this cycle and process makes you a powerful being.
This awareness leads me to a big lesson that continues to present its self to me in big and small ways. Im a believer that is that life is about learning to wait. This “wait” I’m refering to is not sitting back and doing nothing. It’s embracing the pause or grounding phase of life that has to happen in order for things to grow. When we slow down long enough and listen to the space between what we thing we know, that is where the answers are revealed. Jimi Hendrix said “knowledge speaks but wisdom listens.” To me this quote implies that to arrive at wisdom we need to slow down, turn off our own ideas and truly hear whats being said by those around us, and to our self within.
Turing my attention to my root chakra has been not so glamorous, but where I lacked in “glamor” it has made up for in power, and connection to source. Growing deeps roots creates the foundation for a sustainable and fulfilling life. As I started writing this last night I realized that today is my year anniversary from moving home from Costa Rica. (a place where I was lusciously, flippantly and superfluously living in my heart space, which is a good place to be as long as proper roots have been grown, which they hadn’t which is maybe why the tree fell (me) the way it did- but it was what was needed to happen for the seeds to spread and grow as they have… Ah, the joys of trusting and surrendering, embracing what comes our way as opposed to what we think we know or want. Ive said it many time but heart break is a fucker. But I am only greatful for the deeply satisfying lessons I have learned as a result. As I reflect on how much my heart has softened, but also my soul empowered, and the growth that I have traversed in the last year, it’s incredible. We as human beings are capable of great feats, physical, emotional, mental, spiritual. Everything I wanted to happen continues to. Maybe not the exact way I’ve imagined, and not to say Ive gotten everything I “wanted”. But life unfolds everything we need. When you are able to get specific about what you want and let go of how it comes about, it always, always always comes. This is where he power of a yoga practice becomes the best tool. I can only speak from my own experience but my yoga practice is the reward. Despite the ups and downs this last year has contained my Yoga practice has given me tools to know that everything is not just okay, but perfect, even when its not. Life isn’t happening to me its happening for me. And although the jungles and in a bikini is where I want to be, and where I will be, through a devoted practice I have arrived in a place of the sweetest contentment within myself regardless of life’s external circumstances. Not to mention, a life here in San Diego cocooned by so much sweet sweet love is blissful. To keep it all in perspective if surfing in a wet suit is the worst part of my its really not so bad hey?
Life is cyclical indeed. So this positive, unattached, loving, humble, vulnerable, open free life style and mindset does not deny or negate that bad things can and do happen, it’s just a shield, or tool, to constantly remind me to stay in the present, to let go, to trust and surrender to forces beyond my control. It is a knowing that sun sets, and it gets dark, but then the sun rises and it is light again (not to mention the magic of the moon while the sun is away). This way of living to protects me from unnecessary struggle that could lead to drowning in the same currents that float and pull me safety. We can let go or be dragged. We can work hard for what we want, as I have, but in this hard work and of following my dreams am in constant flux, remembering to stay fluid, and let things happen as they should- finding a perfect balance between working your ass off, and going with the flow. (Of being in that place right where the tide changes, it goes from a dead low beings to push in, the winds switch offshore, and what looked like shitting conditions, transform into an epic session of pumping waves.) Sorry… haha, couldn’t got a whole explanation of life and love without some kind of ocean reference, default I suppose of being a mermaid =) Anywho, Letting go of what we think we know, and accepting what is, this is Aparigraha. Aparigraha is a yoga philosophy that teaches abundance and recognizing the blessings off all things the come our way. Embracing its wisdom has saved me many many headaches, and soothed many heartaches in reassuring me that despite external circumstances that everything is going to be fine, and in clinging to an outcome I desire and not accepting what is only causes more suffering.
As Im nearing the completion of my 31st trip around the sun I feel so grateful, so empowered and so excited to share with you the secret powers of a yoga practice that I have been fortunate enough to receive. None of these wisdoms are my own. Im am however a believer in myself. My wild passion and free spirit are viscously infectious, and as I get to know myself more everyday I I feel more honored to share my stories and my sparkle with you.
I’ve got a few poetry books I hope to be publishing soon full of inspiration and yogic wisdoms and short prose about nature, travel, and love. Some beach cleans ups in the works and if you follow me and my merbabes at the _mermaidmafia_ on intsagram and FB we are always filling your days with positive ideas about how to live a more mindful eco conscious life. Also always promoting, check out Avasol. They are skin safe, reef safe sun protection product and Avasol is a company I endorse who heartily.
As for my big dream, my big vision – Surf House Nicaragua is reaching its dawn. Its a bit scary, but I’m stoked for the adventure into business ownership and the opportunity to create something that has a positive lasting impact. Any one who has ever watched the sunrise knows what a moment of great magic this is.
In addition to building an epic space to host travelers and share my love of yoga and surf, In the next year I will also be hosting a Yoga and Surf and Volunteer adventure to a tropical Latin paradise not far from here… Hope you can join me =) =)
I am a woman on fire, inspired, in love with my self, with life and engaged in this magic mystery as it unfolding all around. I can only thank the people closest to me who continually uplift me, guide me, love the heck out of me, remind the importance of following your dreams and teach me to live a full vibrant life.
So many blessings and so much love-