Humaness.

I can’t tell you how many times over the past months I have asked myself

Who am I?

As I look down and my nikes ( yep,  haha, not only has life gotten me into shoes, but nikes…woah)

My no longer sun kissed skin (white as a ghost, uhhhhgggg the crime…

Or my sad salt-less hair (these mermaid locks have not tasted the salty sweet waters of the sea in months…) 

And, ya know, it’s funny.  Because in this journey of living and loving – healing and growing I have realized that these things outside of me like shoes or clothes (or no shoes and bikinis) do not define who I am. Life is happy regardless.

On the inside I am the same.  We are all the same. 

I am not these clothes or these circumstances.  This accident and the injuries have essentially forced my life to go in one direction (at least for the time being) and defaulted me to a (short term) stagnant place. A physical place of not allowing me to choose the activities of surfing or yoga or traveling, or walking down the street or driving, or so many of the everyday things we are able to do when our bodies are healthy and well, this experience has violently shoved me in a direction, a direction that has led me to like myself even more than before. Even pale, and in shoes, and clothes, and layers, and broke… but smiling, always smiling.

So who I am has as nothing to do with anything external. I am someone who has seen a bit of a detour, a setback as some may call it, and learned to love myself even more. I am now, deeper, kinder and more compassionate. And that’s that thing about life. We have no control over what happens to us. Only how we choose to respond. We are truly not a reflection of our outside circumstances, and I don’t say this from preaching – I say this from my heart. I say it to remind you that if you find yourself faced with a challenging times, you yourself have to power to shape how you experience it. My hope for you is that you find the tools and see the benefits of taking the path of positivity. I’m not saying be happy all the time, cause even I lose my shit every now and then, but it’s about more than that. It’s about finding a way to enjoy life.

 

Speak to me only with your eyes…

Oh the ways Robert Plant can sing to my soul. I love this set of lyrics from Led Zeppelin. It’s always stirs a visceral reaction from me, but even more so now, that I have been pushed to  examine life from such a different perspective. For me it alludes to the magic mystery that exists beyond the physical – beyond the surface of clothes and shoes, skin color and accessories… it awakens our awareness to a Self that lives deep within. Words like this, and a seeking for greater awareness, that sparkle that lives in the eyes of awakened beings – is an invitation to find and  to live with joy. A joy that is so available in all of the everyday things we see – to me that’s exciting part about self discovery and a spiritual journey. Nothing has to change for this to happen, only the way you look at things =) 

And when you begin to look at things differently, the things you look at begin to change. You just have to be willing.

 

As FDR said. And which I know in my life to be very true.

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” 

Music, wisdoms like the one mentioned above, and the mystery of looking into someones eyes evokes so much meaning,  if we let in these vulnerabilities in we arrive in places of empowering awe and wonder, places we can only arrive to if seek what is beyond the surface….

There are so many things In life we can and will miss out on because (or if) we are afraid to look beyond the flesh. It is a fear. A fear that we will find something we are afraid of within ourselves. Fear of inadequacy, of unworthiness, of self doubt, or maybe the fear is even bigger than we can comprehend, so instead of diving in and finding out what vastness lies beyond, we choose to stand safe on the surface and wonder, but that unsatisfied wonder, only leads to more fears. We fear limitations, or perhaps the opposite, we fear the enormity, of the spirit, or the soul of life in its entirety –  it can be crippling. Or mind blowing. To really begin to imagine how very small yet simultaneously powerful we are. 

When we look within and see wounds to unwrap – know that these traumas are there to guide you to the parts that need to heal- they are not going to kill you, they are challenges that live has given you  to help you grow. They are there to teach you. Life is a students game. 

A quote I found through my spiritual studies, a quote that I return to often when I am feeling overwhelmed by the unknown is this. 

“In the beginners mind there are many possibilities, in the experts mid there are few.”

Shunryu Suzuki

To me this quote offers a perspective about not knowing, a perspective that says in the not knowing the possibly to learn is endless, and that potential is where all the magic of growth is waiting for us. Perspective is powerful. And there is another yogic practice called pratipaksha bhavanam. (That I’ll talk about soon, but its about our ability to cultivate the opposite of a situation when we don’t like how it is going or making us feel) =) …. Soon, i’ll share that soon – OR – ( The beautiful people at http://www.rebelandmuse.com have recently invited me to be on their podcast, and we chat quite a bit about this idea there….. go check it out! ) ANywho

We will only benefit from the continuous exploration of self. This injury, in my perspective, has only been good. Painful and life changing, yes, but ooey gooey dripping in epiphanies that take place driving on the freeway or by way of the hot steamy shower, at the gym of all aweful places, or sitting in my car in a parking lot in the rain…kind of good. Pain is a part of life, choosing how we respond to this pain is what dictates the quality of our lives. I absolutely had moments like this before the fall, but these are different. These come on the dawn of a cold dark night, and for some reason to me that makes them more profound. Maybe I guess then, the way I see it is, this experience has deepened my understanding of things that only have light shown on them by looking over the edge of darkness and sinking right into it.

And then coming up smiling. Because well, it’s fascinating down there, deep in the depth of our wounds, it’s a vast majestic an if we dare to go there (with an open and positive mind set, of what can come from this situation)- anything is possible. I believe now more than ever in the power of our minds. This power is the same way people like Nelson Mandela survive lock up or humans survived the holocaust. And although I am no comparison to these kinds of hero’s maybe my journey can be an inspiration to other ordinary people like me and you. Maybe I can be a reminder that we are all capable of greatness, and that “greatness” doesn’t look the same for any two people. That’s the greatest part. As we change and grow our best also transforms day to day, and season to season. But believing in a bigger something, anything, the possibilities to overcome, to create, to learn, to forgive (ourselves and others), to grow, to let go, to thrive are literally infinite.

Being injured has given me an opportunity to be with myself. It has given me time to explore me. My thoughts, my feeling, with out interruptions to the things we as humans normally do to fill our days. And this opportunity has allowed me to fall even deeper in the love with with who I am. It has showed me parts of myself, sad parts, strong parts, injured, humble, simple gentle unadorned with life’s decorations parts…

(Below, the documentation of my knee’s sweet journey =) I am proud of what a healing machine it is!!)

 This essence of self, of life that maybe is only revealed in times of challenge , of woundedness, is what makes us strong. This injury has been a beautiful opportunity to see my body broken and in pain, but capable of healing, capable of finding the light, the positive, and what a miracle it is to see the body heal. To see myself in my lowest time, and still find the beauty in who I am, this my friends, is a truly humbling and empowering  lesson to learn. And for that, this process, this experience, maybe I will go as far as to say this gift of a different and deeper, more simple (even more simple than I already was) approach to life – well for that i am extremely grateful. I

Diving head first into the belly of injuries and recovery is honestly anything but cool. It’s not glamorous. But it is real. It is a process, it is a time to really sink my teeth into all the things I preach when life is healthy and thriving. It is truly a time to digest what exists beyond the physical world we live in. It is a time of letting go, of surrendering, of shifting the energy away from negativity and back towards gratitude. It is a time of patience, of acceptance, of love. Of looking myself in the eyes, and loving what I see. It is a path of gentleness towards self, of not judging the days when I want to be anywhere but here. And knowing that as a human, a spiritual beautiful divine being, but a human non the less, that it is okay to struggle. I am not any less of a yogi, a teacher, a leader a light bearer or a guide because I too face demons, demons that can paint even my light and sparkly  sky with darkness. And you sweet person are the same. Remember that with impermanence comes happiness and sadness and if you can just stay afloat when the seas are the roughest then that is enough. Not only is it enough, but it is a sweet victory when you rise to meet the new day, maybe naked, and battered but resilient, stronger and ever so beautiful 💙 so I send you this message,  to you inviting you join me on this humble journey to discover the limits of the universe, a reality juicy with life’s subtle joys, full of adventure and full of  love.

This idea of the mind and greatness and how no two things are the same from person to person, has been a duality I have been applying to the idea of success; and how it’s come to look and taste In modern society but that maybe that’s not actually what “success” is at all…

I feel good about it:) got that coming to you nexts

I hope my story inspires you of what greatness you have within you – as a human – as a divine magical being living inside a bag of flesh, stacked with bones, wandering freely on this planet. Trying to make sense of this wildly joyful life experiment.  Life’s great mystery is our prize.

Be well my friends. Be kind, Be love.

xo

Mermaid

ps. im also helping host an epic event tomorrow. here in the link =) if you are in town, come join us!

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/yoga-daytreat-live-music-soundbath-energy-healing-vegetartian-lunch-tickets-52180804190?aff=ebdssbdestsearch

 

Yoga-Life-Water-Love

Yoga- Life- Water- Love

My heart is bursting with gratitude. Like the way lava lurches from within a volcano and devours everything in its path. Completely consuming and changing life as it moves towards the sea – love flows from me in this very same way. It is subtle, but it is a mighty an undeniable force to any who witnesses it’s movement. The seeds you cultivate and water in your life become the jungle that grows around you. Its simple in theory but life brings all kinds of challenges, and my yoga practice has taught me that that practice is indeed the reward, and we are undoubtedly mirrors of those around us. 

No matter the day I am having- time with self, in yoga practice, in meditation, silently dancing with the great expanse of everything, always resets my heart and mind. Yesterday, after a morning of great coffee talk, and inspiring creative brainstorming, I headed off to serve tables (and share smiles) at the restaurant. Days of waiting on people hand and foot can be rewarding but also an “energy suck” and after such a super charged AM of “big dream” stuff, that became a day of “work” I was feeling depleted, a bit unrewarded and in need of tapping back into  the sweet vast source self. The 5:30 pm class at YO (Yoga Oceanside) with amazing teacher the amazing teacher, and friend, Rick Worthington always ends in happy fuzzy yoga bliss. Come join us if you are in town! http://www.Yogaoceanside.com =)

So.

I am a woman with dreams and ambition. My wild heart calls me to rouge parts of the world, and although it may not be the most “safe or secure” path of life, I can not turn off the call of the winds that lure me to Nicaraguan Tropical Paradise. Its a simple life I crave, but in creating this vision, first I get to put in a lot of work. I am building Surf House Nicaragua http://www.surfhousenicaragua.com (check it out, just a basic page now, but so much more to come)  through this Boutique Surf style Accommodation I am creating   a community to spread the seeds of love (from my tribe here in oceanside) to people and travelers across the globe. 

For now, and a temporary now, I’m living in my hometown Oceanside, CA. I work at the   a super fun spot called Local Tap House (which I do love) but it’s not my passion or how I want to live my life long term. I am also blessed enough to teach yoga and give reiki in the amazing Yoga Oceanside yoga studio. 

 

For the last few days my friend Caroline has been in town visiting me.  She is a boss babe, full of fire, passion, ideas and an work ethic second to none. Her thought process I so different than mine and she only challenges me to think about things from a different avenue than my natural thought process; not to change my way of thinking, but to simply expand my mind to consider other possibilities.

In our relationship, being the yoga teacher and energy healer, I am the “yogini” but her ability to understand this power of mind makes her a yogini in so many ways she doesn’t even know. One of my favorite yoga quotes that I teach often in class  is this “As the mind so the man – if you believe you are bound you are bound, if you believe you are free you are free” Its a quote from Patajanli’s Yoga Sutras a book loaded with all kind of amazing esoteric wisdoms. Its a great read even if you don’t have a physical asana practice i’d recommend gibing it a read.

 My point to this story is I have gotten comfortable, “bound” perhaps, to limiting thought and beliefs about how and when I can make my dreams happen- and as I write and reflect I’m becoming aware that maybe thats  the reason I’ve been feeling stuck. I’ve adopted a routine for the first time in my  life, and it’s a beautiful routine, but Im  now feeling it’s time to shake it up.  In life we go back and forth from protection mode to growth mode. From times of getting grounded and rooted, (feeling safe and secure) to times of radical growth and change. When I returned home from living in Costa Rica, a year ago today, I was in big need of this nurturing, I had massive emotional healing to do and was in need of finding stability and happiness within in myself. So this “groove” here been 100% necessary and everything I’ve needed for the past 12 months but its not the place I can stay if I want to live the biggest, and most vibrant version of my life. It’s perfect for right now, but that’s no excuse to get complacent. If you have dreams, that have found their way in to the back ground maybe it’s time to shift all your energy into these dreams, manifest them and create and work them into fruition. Or maybe for you its time to slow it down a bit and continue to water them and wait for them to grow- either way having awareness around this cycle and process makes you a powerful being. 

This awareness leads me to a  big lesson that continues to present its self to me in big and small ways. Im a believer that is that life is about learning to wait. This “wait” I’m refering to is not sitting back and doing nothing. It’s embracing the pause or grounding phase of life that has to happen in order for things to grow.  When we slow down long enough and listen to the space between what we thing we know, that is where the answers are revealed. Jimi Hendrix said “knowledge speaks but wisdom listens.”  To me this quote implies that to arrive at wisdom we need to slow down, turn off our own ideas and truly hear whats being said by those around us, and to our self within.

Turing my attention to my root chakra has been not so glamorous, but where I lacked in “glamor” it has made up for in power, and connection to source. Growing deeps roots creates the foundation for a sustainable and fulfilling life. As I started writing this last night I  realized that today is my year anniversary from moving home from Costa Rica. (a place where I was lusciously, flippantly and superfluously living in my heart space, which is a good place to be as long as proper roots have been grown, which they hadn’t which is maybe why the tree fell (me) the way it did- but it was what was needed to happen for the seeds to spread and grow as they have… Ah, the joys of trusting and surrendering, embracing what comes our way as opposed to what we think we know or want. Ive said it many time but heart break is a fucker. But I am only greatful for the deeply satisfying lessons I have learned  as a result. As I reflect on how much my heart  has softened, but also my soul empowered, and the growth that I have traversed in the last year, it’s incredible. We as human beings are capable of great feats, physical, emotional, mental, spiritual. Everything I wanted to happen continues to. Maybe not the exact way I’ve imagined, and not to say Ive gotten everything I “wanted”. But life unfolds everything we need. When you are able to get specific about what you want and let go of how it comes about, it always, always always comes. This is where he power of a yoga practice becomes the best tool. I can only speak from my own experience but my yoga practice is the reward. Despite the ups and downs this last year has contained my Yoga practice has given me tools  to know that everything is not just okay, but perfect, even when its not. Life isn’t happening to me its happening for me. And although the jungles and in a bikini is where I want to be, and where I will be, through a devoted practice I have arrived in a place of the sweetest contentment within myself regardless of life’s external circumstances. Not to mention, a life here in San Diego cocooned by so much sweet sweet love is blissful. To keep it all in perspective if surfing in a wet suit is the worst part of my its really not so bad hey?

Life is cyclical indeed. So this positive, unattached, loving, humble, vulnerable, open free life style and mindset  does not deny or negate that bad things can and do happen, it’s just a shield, or tool, to constantly remind me to stay in the present, to let go, to trust and surrender to forces beyond my control. It is a knowing that  sun sets, and it gets dark, but then the sun rises and it is light again (not to mention the magic of the moon while the sun is away). This way of living to protects me from unnecessary struggle that could lead to drowning in the same currents that float and pull me safety. We can let go or be dragged. We can work hard for what we want, as I have, but in this hard work and of following my dreams am in constant flux, remembering to stay fluid, and let things happen as they should- finding a perfect balance between working your ass off, and going with the flow. (Of being in that place right where the tide changes, it goes from a dead low beings to push in, the winds switch offshore, and what looked like shitting conditions, transform into an epic session of pumping waves.) Sorry… haha, couldn’t got a whole explanation of life and love without some kind of ocean reference, default I suppose of being a mermaid =) Anywho, Letting go of what we think we know, and accepting what is, this is  Aparigraha. Aparigraha is a yoga philosophy that teaches abundance and recognizing the blessings off all things the come our way. Embracing its wisdom has saved me many many headaches, and soothed many heartaches in reassuring me that despite external circumstances that everything is going to be fine, and in clinging to an outcome I desire and not accepting what is only causes more suffering.

As Im nearing the completion of my 31st trip around the sun I feel so grateful, so empowered and so excited to share with you the secret powers of a yoga practice that I have been fortunate enough to receive. None of these wisdoms are my own.  Im am however a believer in myself. My wild passion and free spirit are viscously infectious, and as I get to know myself more everyday I I feel more honored to share my stories and my sparkle with you. 

I’ve got a few poetry books I hope to be publishing soon full of inspiration and yogic wisdoms and short prose about nature, travel, and love. Some beach cleans ups in the works and if you follow me and my merbabes at the _mermaidmafia_  on intsagram and FB we are always filling your days with positive ideas about how to live a more mindful eco conscious life.  Also always promoting, check out Avasol. They are skin safe, reef safe sun protection product and Avasol is a company I endorse who heartily.

As for my big dream, my big vision – Surf House Nicaragua is reaching its dawn. Its a bit scary, but I’m stoked for the adventure into business ownership and the opportunity to create something that has a positive lasting impact. Any one who has ever watched the sunrise knows what a moment of great magic this is. 

In addition to building an epic space to host travelers and share my love of yoga and surf, In the next year I will also be hosting a Yoga and Surf and Volunteer adventure to a tropical Latin paradise not far from here… Hope you can join me =) =)

I am a woman on fire, inspired, in love with my self, with life and engaged in this magic mystery as it unfolding all around. I can only thank the people closest to me who continually uplift me, guide me, love the heck out of me, remind the importance of following your dreams and teach me to live a full vibrant life.

So many blessings and so much love-

The mermaid.

Buddhist Monks, Boxing Classes & Babes

A trifecta of sorts.

Yep:) it’s been quite the week or two..

Writing stories is always a wonderful opportunity to re examine all I have to be grateful for-

So check it out,  I believe in lots of things:)

like fairies and rainbows, mermaids and unicorns

-Believe it or not actually been to the place where the unicorns arrive at the salty sea and enter the ocean and become mermaids for a while- I’ve also sat on the thumbnail moon as she floats in the sky and let my legs dangle over the edge but that is a whole different story to tell 😘😘(and no. in case your wondering acid is not a part of my diet)…I’m high on life 🙂 🙂 🙂 and maybe a bit weird, but life is short, fantasies are fun, and weird is never ever boring. If I dare invite you to walk with me on the wild side, you’ll like it – my only warning is that your face might hurt from nonstop giggles and smiles.

But Back to beliefs. Nothing written in stone, just practicing things I have learned along the way- Defining things that dictate how i live my life- my own personal truths of sorts.

I believe we all are here because we have a story to tell, lessons to learn, love to give and wounds to heal. It has been a big week spanning the spectrum of experience. It’s cool how life comes at you if you stay open. I’m no longer staying in a close minded space or entertaining the idea of feeling “stuck” here- Ive come back around and am open to receiving the opportunities to get grounded, connected and enjoying the blessing of a space to manifest and create- feeling stuck is only a matter of attitude, not a physical manifestation. My life in California has begun to unfold in the absolute perfection of something only in proper alignment with the flow of nature could reveal…
Whew.

Here it goes.
Building on this idea of “perfection” that i was talking about last time. The power of the mind is strong and where you focus your energy your life with follow. This has rang true in my life over and over again- and I’m sure if you create an awareness of your thought and patterns you will see a similar flow in yours. The power of positivity might sound annoying- oh but it’s so real. And SO juicy good—

As I feel the need for a softened heart- I also feel a calling to harden the muscles. Not being able to surf 4 hours every day has left me with an appetite for more fitness and a desire to return to a boxing/kickboxing routine.

After my healing journey and blessing with The llama-
yes- i was fortunate enough to spend some time in the presence of a Tibetan Buddhist Monk who chanted mantras, rang bells, lit incense and preformed a sacred ritual using figurative sparkly effervescent light which he then wrapped up in robes and sent off any negative energy to far away place where it can no longer reach me. Powerful to say the least. Although it may sound far out there to you, it seems to me that any opportunity for growth and healing is worth experiencing- isn’t that what is life about anyways?

IMG_3747

Also being a yoga teacher and reiki practitioner, this was a chance I couldn’t turn down and anyone who had ever had/received energy or body work knows what a wildly powerful exchange this is…

After leaving the monk I found myself drawn to return a distant yet familiar place. The gym of a friend and who I believe to be a legend. Higley fit. Alex Higley is a local man, professional fighter and creature of love, light and positivity. His passion for life and commitment to share his dream is contagious and super uplifting. Often a gym or fitness class can be intimidating, but I would recommend trying out Higley fit to anyone who has boxed for years or is new to the sport. Check out his craft at http://www.higleyfit.com

From there the good vibes ensued, and of course, within the next few days after stopping in to say hey, I found myself w my gloves back on and elbows deep in the bag and mits. Smiling and sweating and stoked to surrounded by other people with the same positive attitude.

Part three of this trifecta is where the babes come into play. Traveling has shaped me beyond most other influences in my life. Not only the places you get to see, but the magical beings you meet along the way. Something special happens when you step outside your comfort zone and Into the wild vast unknown. I met Maya in Costa Rica, but I have known her for millions of years-she has recently returned to the states for a bit and was on a cosmic adventure to Cali:) Being mermaids and lovers of all things it was only natural to host her in my home. Surfing and andventures with the ladies is always rad. Sharing love and light, and stories of adventures and heartbreak and waves never gets old. I’ve said it a million times and I’ll say it again, life about accumulating moments that make your soul sing- and time with mermaid friends and wine and waves is certainly that. Maya Luna love has since left and our lives continue to journey on…

And that’s really all it is. A journey. Not a destination, but appreciating all we have in any given moment and the joy that comes from simply being alive and well… as I posted on my IG yesterday y-

“These flesh suits we wear sure can be deceiving. The universe keeps sending me angels all dressed up a humans. From the grind of LAX, to the grind at the coffee machine at Frazier Farms, to the grind of waves at the beach, and all the way back to my heart with a good old fashioned phone call with a cosmic friend living on the other side of the globe- Authenticity- inspiration- and love. Give love. be love and witness and experience the opening of portals unimaginable by a limited heart or mind. Stay open my friends 🙂 Do not find excuses to shut down or close off- we are all so very connected. The energy and pure love that has come my way in the last 12 hours is mind blowing, humbling and magically beautiful:)✨ Unlimited amounts of love and bliss are everywhere- in the depths of the seas, the space of the galaxies, the vast eternity of every moment- of every sunset- of these magical October skies.
Live with love
Pura Vida.”

salty and sunkissed besos-
Katie